The problem with “difficult conversations” is that we label them “difficult conversations”. I’m sure we have all been there with the one member of the family who seems to be able to get under our skin or the colleague or boss who we can’t seem to get through to and all our effort and energy does not reap the rewards and progress it deserves because they just don’t get it…
Whether in a personal or professional capacity clearly a number of factors play a part which could include:
- the personal agenda of those contributing
- the level of individual confidence or experience
- the knowledge of the subject
- the desired outcomeIt can even start before the conversation begins.
The internal dialogue ramps up thinking about all the things that could go wrong, how you could be perceived by others especially as you may need to be slightly firmer with your approach. No doubt you would hate to come across as bullish, and of course “don’t forget what happened last time!”. In the very nature of self-preservation, we can self-destruct as we talk ourselves out of doing the very things that will help us to achieve what we desire. You know, the things that just make sense to you and will enable you to progress and move forward. We desire momentum, to feel like we are getting somewhere, that the energy we are expending means something. Well it doesn’t have to be this way, we don’t have to put up with it.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema