Happiness is a Skill: How often do you practice it?

“Happiness is a skill that can be learned like speaking Spanish or playing guitar. It is a skill of the mind; a capacity to shape the way that we see, process and interpret our reality and the things around us. It can be developed like any other competence.” – Selin Kesebir

Many people see happiness as something that just happens – the result of circumstance, luck, or even personality. In reality, happiness is much more like a skill, one we can learn and strengthen through the choices we make each day.

This perspective matters not only in life but in work. We spend a huge proportion of our time in the workplace, and our mindset directly shapes performance, relationships, and resilience. A happier workforce is more engaged, innovative, and collaborative. At the leadership level, modelling this approach is critical: culture follows behaviour.

The challenge is that our brains are not naturally wired for happiness. Evolution has left us with a negativity bias – the instinct to notice problems and threats before positives. While that once kept us safe, in today’s workplace, it means teams can fixate on what’s wrong instead of seeing what’s working. Left unchecked, this erodes motivation and satisfaction. The skill of happiness lies in training ourselves to rebalance that lens.

As Selin Kesebir, Associate Professor of Organisational Behaviour at London Business School, explains: “Too often we make the mistake of equating happiness with external factors: the fulfilment of certain desires like wealth, love, certain rules, hedonistic pleasure, or other people’s approbation. The problem with seeking validation from those around you is that you move away from your inner compass and you start measuring your own value in how other people see you – how smart, or attractive or successful they think you are.”

In a work context, this insight is vital. When leaders or teams measure their worth only by external markers (job titles, bonuses, or approval from others), it becomes harder to sustain genuine satisfaction. True happiness, and by extension stronger performance, comes from aligning daily actions with internal values rather than chasing external validation.

So how do we begin to cultivate happiness as a skill? A practical first step is reflection. By asking ourselves the right questions, we can identify where we’re already thriving and where a small shift in perspective or behaviour could make a real difference. Reflection doesn’t just offer insight – it creates action, helping us take small, realistic steps that compound into greater wellbeing and stronger performance.

Ten Questions to Ask Yourself

These questions are designed to spark reflection and action. Take them slowly. For each one, consider: What’s one small step I can take that would move me closer to where I want to be?

1. Am I healthy?
   Strong mental and physical health underpins performance. We can’t control everything, but we can make intentional choices – moving more, resting better, managing stress – that increase our energy and resilience at work and in life.
2. Where does my self-worth come from?
   Do you only feel valuable when others approve, or do you recognise your own worth? Authentic self-esteem comes from within. Identify what makes you proud, and practise giving yourself the same respect you give others.
3. What would I do if no one judged me?
   Work choices are often shaped by others’ expectations. If judgment weren’t a factor, what would you do differently? This can highlight where you are putting perception ahead of purpose.
4. Am I present in my daily life?
   In work and at home, being constantly distracted reduces effectiveness and enjoyment. Try noticing what’s in front of you – listening fully in a meeting, appreciating a colleague’s input, or simply paying attention during your commute.
5. What am I grateful for?
   Gratitude shifts focus from gaps to gains. At work, this might be acknowledging team effort, celebrating progress, or recognising a learning opportunity. Gratitude fuels motivation and strengthens trust.
6. Why do I do what I do each day?
   Routines shape performance more than one-off events. Are your daily actions aligned with your values and goals, or are you stuck in autopilot? Even a minor change in habits can unlock greater satisfaction.
7. What kind of legacy do I want to leave?
   Think about how you want to be remembered by colleagues, clients, or your team. Legacy isn’t about grand gestures – it’s about everyday choices that reflect your values.
8. How much money do I need?
   Financial security matters, but beyond a point, more doesn’t equal happier. Reflect on whether your pursuit of more is costing you time, energy, or relationships that would enrich your life.
9. Am I happy with my work?
   Given the hours we spend working, job satisfaction matters. If your role drains you, what could change? Sometimes it’s a big decision, but often small shifts – new learning, honest conversations, clearer boundaries – can make work more fulfilling.
10. Are my relationships healthy?
    At work and beyond, strong relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual support. Reflect on which relationships energise you and which drain you. Where might honesty, boundaries, or more time invested make a difference?

Happiness is not a luxury in the workplace, nor is it a given. When it’s treated like a skill, leaders and teams can cultivate it to unlock potential, sustain morale and produce high performance. Happiness is not just about feeling good; it is about building resilience, improving performance, and creating a culture where people can thrive.

Even one small step, such as starting a gratitude habit, reframing a tough day, or having a constructive conversation, can shift your perspective. Over time, those small steps compound, creating not just happier individuals but stronger teams and healthier organisations.

At Pro-Noctis, we specialise in high-impact coaching and mentoring designed to unlock both individual and organisational potential. Whether it’s excelling within your team, strengthening workplace culture, or developing leadership and people management strategies, we create practical, tailored solutions that deliver lasting results.

Get in touch today to explore how we can support you and your organisation.